Vincent Kicks Cloud's @$$
by CloudS21
Summary: For all you Vincent -Lovers, read Cloud's Secret first.


Vincent kicks Cloud's @$$  
Author: CloudS21  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: FF7  
Genre: Humor-Action-slight Romance.  
Comment: For all you Vincent-lovers out there, read Cloud's Secret first.  
  
Cloud: So, Vince, you've found my secret.  
  
Vincent: It's Vincent.  
  
Cloud: Whatever.  
  
Vincent: Your secret is out, Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Just to tell you, Vincent, I didn't kill everyone else.  
  
Vincent: Whadda ya' mean?  
  
Cloud: It was, uhh? SEPHIROTH! Yeah! It was all Sephiroth!  
  
Vincent: Really?  
  
Cloud: Yeah, you don't really think I would even think about hurting my friends? Do you?  
  
Vincent: Well....  
  
Cloud: Well, I wouldn't. So can I show you something?  
  
Vincent: I guess.  
  
Cloud: Come over here than.  
  
Vincent: Okay. ::walks to Cloud::  
  
Cloud: ::knocks out Vincent with handle of sword:: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
::Vincent wakes up chained to the wall::  
  
Vincent: Huh?!  
  
Cloud: Now, Vincent! You must watch your friends DIE!  
  
Vincent: Die?  
  
Cloud: I know you know what die means.  
  
Vincent: No I don't.  
  
Cloud: Yes, you do.  
  
Don't  
  
Do  
  
Don't  
  
Do  
  
Don't  
  
Do  
  
Cloud: SHUT UP!!  
  
Vincent: ::quickly:: All right.  
  
Cloud: First up...YUFFIE!  
  
Vincent: NOOO!! ::sees Yuffie chained to the wall::  
  
Yuffie: Help me, Vince.  
  
Vincent: I would but, I'm kinda tied up.  
  
Yuffie: Oh yeah...  
  
Cloud: How come she can call you 'Vince' and I can't?!  
  
Vincent: Because...I'M IN LOVE WITH YUFFIE!::relizing he just admitted one of his deepest, darkest secrets:: Oops...  
  
Cloud+Yuffie: WHAT?!  
  
Yuffie: ::trys to break loose:: I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and never let you go!  
  
Vincent: That's what I've wanted...::whines thinking of the fact that he was to afraid to be with his beloved one and now shes going to die::  
  
Cloud: I hate to break the dramatic moment but, Yuffie has gotta go! ::pulls out Yuffie doll, throws it against the wall, pulls a rope, and 1000 lbs of materia falls on Yuffie::  
  
Vincent: ::watches Yuffie get crushed by materia:: NOOO!!! @#$%& you Cloud! @#$%& you to @#$%&en hell!!  
  
Cloud: WOW, that's a lotta big words for a vampire!  
  
Vincent: I am not a vampire.  
  
Cloud: Whatever. Now for these two! ::throws RedXIII doll and Cait Sith doll in fireplace::  
  
Vincent: D*mn it!  
  
Cloud: ::runs over to Aeris:: And little Aeris here has to become my sex toy! I mean, bride!  
  
Aeris: EWW!!  
  
Cloud: ARRGH! ::runs to his room::  
  
Cloud: Let's see, where's that book? ::accidently sits on Aeris doll and gases::  
D*MN IT!  
  
Vincent: Ouch...  
  
Cloud: Well, VINCE, all your friends, are dead!  
  
Vincent: MY NAME IS VINCENT!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!! ::breaks loose and tackles Cloud::  
  
Cloud: AHHHHH!!  
  
Vincent: ::deep voice:: Prepare to die, CLOUD! ::turns into Chaos::  
  
Cloud: Oh s*it!  
  
::Chaos grabs Cloud and flys up into the air and breaks through the roof, cutting cloud's head::  
  
Cloud: OWWW!!! Couldn't we compromise?!  
  
Chaos: Hell NO!  
  
Cloud: So does this mean we're not friends?  
  
Chaos: D*mn right!  
  
Cloud: Aww man...  
  
::Chaos drops Cloud from 10 miles in the air, which of course crushes him::  
  
::Vincent lands back in the house and every one is alive again::   
  
Red: Hey, Vincent, you saved us all!  
  
Barret: Thanks man! Is there anything I could do to repay you?  
  
Vincent: Well, you could start by not calling me vampire.  
  
Barret: Okay, I'll work on it.  
  
::Yuffie runs into Vincents arms and kisses him::  
  
Cid: ::runs over to Yuffie:: C'mon why don't you give old geezer a kiss too?  
  
Yuffie: GR-OSS-NESS! ::kicks Cid away::\  
  
  
The End  
  
CloudS21: To all you Cloud lovers,  
It's no like I hate Cloud or anything,  
I'm a Cloud lover myself,  
It's just that Cloud is always the hero,  
So I desided to change that.  
Look forward to Being Rufus Shinra, The Wedding, and The Honeymoon (maybe The Honeymoon).  
  
  



End file.
